Going over to B’s house tonight.  I’ve never spent the night at someone else’s house before, I’m nervous.  So I’m probably going to binge, but I don’t care because I’m starting my ABC diet tomorrow.  Hopefully I can follow through with it.  If not, I’m going to keep trying until I do.  I need this, I want this, I am this.  Bring it on, I’m never going to heal.

Love Always,

Kendall

I’ve decided today to stop going to group therapy.  I’ve realized that going to an eating disorder group therapy based program is not at all what I need to be doing right now.  I used to think it was fun you know? I thought I could maybe overcome this, but I’ve realized that I don’t want to overcome, I want to embrace it.  I want to enforce it.  I want to become it.  Switching from Mia to Ana is going to be tough, but I know i can do it this time.  I am ready.  I need this to survive.

Love Always,

Kendall

I will have a good day tomorrow.

(yes you will)

I will restrict.

(YES YOU WILL)

I’m starting my journey today. I’m on my own this time, but I’m prepared. I had snacks, those were a waste. I’m not hungry any more, and when I do become hungry, I will suppress those feelings. I don’t need to eat, I can starve. I will lose weight, I will not eat, I will restrict. I will be happy.